Lovely Karthik. You have covered so much on this one article. So sorry for the losses you have suffered.
This line "By not addressing our mental health challenges, we are allowing them to fester in unhealthy ways and over time, this could isolate us from our loved ones." rings so true. Most people don't realise this, if they did they would seek the help they need. Keeping fingers crossed all the time that the realisation happens some day.
Thank you for writing this Karthik. I am so glad I know you and can read your thoughts in your writing. It's so strange how despite connectivity being overwhelming, so many of us don't have anyone to really talk to. Essays like this give people courage and reassurance that we're all human in our journeys from silence to the beginning of conversations that can make us feel less lonely.
One critical gap that exists that you touch upon is “Along with the stigma, there is also the cost barrier to approach a mental health practitioner.” Whilst resources such as YourDost.com and others are becoming more prevalent the cost of even a single session with a therapist or counselor can be prohibitive for folks who are not privileged. Talking and writing about it as you’ve done is a great start. 🙏🏾
Thank you for your feedback, Srikrishna. Statistically, we have less than one mental health professional available per 100,000 population. The supply-demand ratio is highly skewed.
About a decade back, my aunt went for one counseling session and was not enthusiastic about continuing any further. 'Rs 1000 for sitting and talking' she wondered. If I had known better, I would have advised her that she needs to persist with it to see tangible results. These days, a session costs about Rs 2000 and it's not easy to get appointments either.
We surely need to explore alternate ways of addressing our mental wellbeing issues so that we always have someone to talk to. It's that simple really.
Sangath in Goa (now in many places across India) is doing good work in trying to drive first level interventions to the lowest possible level to maximize availability. But as with everything in India, the scale of need far outstrips all that's available. I suspect availability at each level - psychiatrist -> psychologist -> social worker -> local health worker is exponentially greater which is what Sangath is trying to leverage if I understand their work right. https://www.sangath.in/about-us
Costs are prohibitive yes, I tell myself that I can replace a meal outside with my therapy session- is more rewarding. Having said that I would hesitate to oversimplify a counselling session. It is yes talking and listening but there is a purpose, a way and the expertise is valuable.Has taken me a lot of time to accept this understand and seek help and now I know it is "emotional hygiene" of sorts. We must find ways of making it more affordable and accessible. Even those who can afford it do not access it thanks to the stigma .
At the university, some of us got trained to be peer supporters - a team of first responders to anyone from the student community seeking mental health support. It's a simple training that any of us could undergo and prepare ourselves for this role. Prof Dhanda feels that such community initiatives is the way to go.
A couple of weeks ago, at one of the meetups of the listeners' circle I host, a girl walked in. We were doing a meetup after a gap of six or seven weeks, so it had been some time since I had last met her. I greeted her, the session went on, and I walked around the room afterwards to check in with everyone. "How are you doing?" I asked her, quite casually. And her eyes filled up. I was startled—we moved to a corner and sat down on adjacent chairs where she kept apologising for crying. "You are the first person in weeks to ask me how I am doing," she said. Sometimes, it hits me how lonely we all are in these cities surrounded by people.
Thank you for sharing this, Gowri. It seems like such an ordinary question and but there are people amongst us who are longing for such ordinary-ness in their lives.
I came to read this late Karthik, thank you for writing this. From giving up scrolling habits to checking WhatsApp updates- so much seems familiar. Even if a woman I grew up in a family where we did not speak of how we felt we spoke about what to do and not even how very much. And I often think of how lonely it must have been for my father in a home with all women and him shouldering the responsibility. Not sure he had anyone to share and say as little as I am tired. Thank goodness in our generation we are all in our families changing this, how good that you are able to with your brother. Thank you for sharing Dr Dhanda's speech. Wise words. I was so glad to speak to her when my son joined NALSAR- she came across then as someone who was deeply caring about setting inequity right and making young people from privilege aware of it in her role; and her influence and support was visible across the years. Time to write her a line perhaps. Take care Karthik. Also glad to know that you are a listener of TSATU. The Nikhil Taneja episode was revelatory.
Lovely Karthik. You have covered so much on this one article. So sorry for the losses you have suffered.
This line "By not addressing our mental health challenges, we are allowing them to fester in unhealthy ways and over time, this could isolate us from our loved ones." rings so true. Most people don't realise this, if they did they would seek the help they need. Keeping fingers crossed all the time that the realisation happens some day.
Thank you Rakhi. I avoided statistics and generalizations, and only wrote about what is happening with people around me.
Regarding the realisation - It's too much to do by oneself. I feel a supportive environment can be very helpful.
Thank you for writing this Karthik. I am so glad I know you and can read your thoughts in your writing. It's so strange how despite connectivity being overwhelming, so many of us don't have anyone to really talk to. Essays like this give people courage and reassurance that we're all human in our journeys from silence to the beginning of conversations that can make us feel less lonely.
One critical gap that exists that you touch upon is “Along with the stigma, there is also the cost barrier to approach a mental health practitioner.” Whilst resources such as YourDost.com and others are becoming more prevalent the cost of even a single session with a therapist or counselor can be prohibitive for folks who are not privileged. Talking and writing about it as you’ve done is a great start. 🙏🏾
Thank you for your feedback, Srikrishna. Statistically, we have less than one mental health professional available per 100,000 population. The supply-demand ratio is highly skewed.
About a decade back, my aunt went for one counseling session and was not enthusiastic about continuing any further. 'Rs 1000 for sitting and talking' she wondered. If I had known better, I would have advised her that she needs to persist with it to see tangible results. These days, a session costs about Rs 2000 and it's not easy to get appointments either.
We surely need to explore alternate ways of addressing our mental wellbeing issues so that we always have someone to talk to. It's that simple really.
Sangath in Goa (now in many places across India) is doing good work in trying to drive first level interventions to the lowest possible level to maximize availability. But as with everything in India, the scale of need far outstrips all that's available. I suspect availability at each level - psychiatrist -> psychologist -> social worker -> local health worker is exponentially greater which is what Sangath is trying to leverage if I understand their work right. https://www.sangath.in/about-us
Thank you for sharing this Srikrishna :)
Costs are prohibitive yes, I tell myself that I can replace a meal outside with my therapy session- is more rewarding. Having said that I would hesitate to oversimplify a counselling session. It is yes talking and listening but there is a purpose, a way and the expertise is valuable.Has taken me a lot of time to accept this understand and seek help and now I know it is "emotional hygiene" of sorts. We must find ways of making it more affordable and accessible. Even those who can afford it do not access it thanks to the stigma .
At the university, some of us got trained to be peer supporters - a team of first responders to anyone from the student community seeking mental health support. It's a simple training that any of us could undergo and prepare ourselves for this role. Prof Dhanda feels that such community initiatives is the way to go.
Thank you for writing this K. ❤️🩹
A couple of weeks ago, at one of the meetups of the listeners' circle I host, a girl walked in. We were doing a meetup after a gap of six or seven weeks, so it had been some time since I had last met her. I greeted her, the session went on, and I walked around the room afterwards to check in with everyone. "How are you doing?" I asked her, quite casually. And her eyes filled up. I was startled—we moved to a corner and sat down on adjacent chairs where she kept apologising for crying. "You are the first person in weeks to ask me how I am doing," she said. Sometimes, it hits me how lonely we all are in these cities surrounded by people.
Thank you for sharing this, Gowri. It seems like such an ordinary question and but there are people amongst us who are longing for such ordinary-ness in their lives.
I came to read this late Karthik, thank you for writing this. From giving up scrolling habits to checking WhatsApp updates- so much seems familiar. Even if a woman I grew up in a family where we did not speak of how we felt we spoke about what to do and not even how very much. And I often think of how lonely it must have been for my father in a home with all women and him shouldering the responsibility. Not sure he had anyone to share and say as little as I am tired. Thank goodness in our generation we are all in our families changing this, how good that you are able to with your brother. Thank you for sharing Dr Dhanda's speech. Wise words. I was so glad to speak to her when my son joined NALSAR- she came across then as someone who was deeply caring about setting inequity right and making young people from privilege aware of it in her role; and her influence and support was visible across the years. Time to write her a line perhaps. Take care Karthik. Also glad to know that you are a listener of TSATU. The Nikhil Taneja episode was revelatory.
Hi Charulatha, Thank you for reading and responding :)
Exceptionally moving and incisive writing as always. Thank you Karthik😃
Thank you for your kind words, Shreya :)
I am going to share this with Niaz :)