You and I appear to have had the exact same conversation with our respective parents, when deciding post-school possibilities!
My affinity for English is what steered me towards law. I was lucky enough to never face any parental pressure about my career. I chose what I wanted to study. But your point about our choices being conditioned by what we know, is insightful. Perhaps a different environment, with different friends, would've led me elsewhere.
Loved the segue to Laapata Ladies. Really enjoyed the movie!
Almost everyone in my boarding school (small place with a total of 200 students from 6th-12th grades) was choosing between Medicine and Engineering. Back then, it felt like there was no other option. All the signs were pointing in that direction.
Oh you hit the nail on the head as usual! My physicist father was a voracious reader, all he needed was a chair and huge book shelf and because of that influence, my brother and I are bookworms too. When we said we wanted to study literature though he was quite clear, “ you can come back to it later”, So we went the science and engineering/MBA route. In a way though he was right I think. At least there is some financial freedom now if we do decide to follow our passion for the written word. It’s complicated!
Loved the movie. Loved the essay. Loved and made note to self about the permission to make mistakes. Thanks Karthik as always for a stellar, insightful essay!
"It is our parents who placed the building blocks of this knowledge by making those important decisions which shape our worlds.." these words... so well articulated. My taking up Commerce is one of those building blocks. I have my next prompt :-)
So I did watch Laapata Ladies 2/3 days ago and all the while wondered, "What did Karthik write about the film on Substack?!" :)
Thank you for the reminder, Karthik. Wish we did have the permission to make mistakes when we were younger. Khair, at least we can work towards it now.
I did enjoy the film! And you won't believe it, I can't remember the last movie I've watched - Bollywood or otherwise. The politician was funny :p but every artist was amazing. Esp the female leads. Loved Deepak, that printing guy, even Deepak's dad. Subtle but impactful! Aur inspector sb ne toh dil dehla diya lol
Thank you for.writing this. Everyone of us needs this what you have called 'permission' which to me subsumes this assurance that "I am there even after the mistake". That gives us the courage to make it. Is this what is called a safety net? It is what every parent must provide.
Thank you, Charulatha. Yes, permission can be a safety net as well as an encouragement to explore and take our chances. Unfortunately, most of us made our choices out of fear of failure.
Fantastic post, Karthik. This opened my eyes to the thought that permission or the lack of it is what confines us to our small individual world. Perhaps, the reason we seek permission is because we care about our loved ones, how our lives would affect theirs if we move away from a pre-planned trajectory.
Parents, teachers and peers hold a lot of power over a young person's life. Children build their identities based on what they are told about themselves - 'sharp, dull, silent, mischievous'. In Child Psychology, it's called Labeling. Since the children are yet to form an identity, they are under everyone else's influence and end up making these labels their own. It is said to turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I am sure there is love as well, along with the fear of disappointing your parents. Since children's brains are not fully formed, they are unable to think for themselves.
I believe it's the parents who should understand this and empower the children to becoming independent thinkers.
The permission to make a mistake! The best permission we need to escape and break loose!
Thanks Karthik
Such a thought provoking essay, Karthik! Love the point about giving ourselves permission :)
You and I appear to have had the exact same conversation with our respective parents, when deciding post-school possibilities!
My affinity for English is what steered me towards law. I was lucky enough to never face any parental pressure about my career. I chose what I wanted to study. But your point about our choices being conditioned by what we know, is insightful. Perhaps a different environment, with different friends, would've led me elsewhere.
Loved the segue to Laapata Ladies. Really enjoyed the movie!
Almost everyone in my boarding school (small place with a total of 200 students from 6th-12th grades) was choosing between Medicine and Engineering. Back then, it felt like there was no other option. All the signs were pointing in that direction.
Oh you hit the nail on the head as usual! My physicist father was a voracious reader, all he needed was a chair and huge book shelf and because of that influence, my brother and I are bookworms too. When we said we wanted to study literature though he was quite clear, “ you can come back to it later”, So we went the science and engineering/MBA route. In a way though he was right I think. At least there is some financial freedom now if we do decide to follow our passion for the written word. It’s complicated!
If the child does not have the permission to make her own mistakes, then the child is living the life of her parents' daughter and not her own life.
Loved the movie. Loved the essay. Loved and made note to self about the permission to make mistakes. Thanks Karthik as always for a stellar, insightful essay!
Awww thank you Saana! Glad you liked it :))
Another fantastic and insightful piece Karthik and such gorgeous connections
"It is our parents who placed the building blocks of this knowledge by making those important decisions which shape our worlds.." these words... so well articulated. My taking up Commerce is one of those building blocks. I have my next prompt :-)
Looking forward!
Lovely Karthik! How caught up we all are.
Thanks a lot, Ayush! :)
So I did watch Laapata Ladies 2/3 days ago and all the while wondered, "What did Karthik write about the film on Substack?!" :)
Thank you for the reminder, Karthik. Wish we did have the permission to make mistakes when we were younger. Khair, at least we can work towards it now.
Did you enjoy the film? It's not serious cinema but surely a heartwarming story. That BJP politician is a fabulous actor! :)
I did enjoy the film! And you won't believe it, I can't remember the last movie I've watched - Bollywood or otherwise. The politician was funny :p but every artist was amazing. Esp the female leads. Loved Deepak, that printing guy, even Deepak's dad. Subtle but impactful! Aur inspector sb ne toh dil dehla diya lol
Apparently Aamir Khan wanted to play that role. Glad they decided to go with Ravi Kishan instead. He didn't even have to try - he was just having fun!
Lol I can't believe I'm saying this but yes, glad Amir Khan didn't play that role!
Thank you for.writing this. Everyone of us needs this what you have called 'permission' which to me subsumes this assurance that "I am there even after the mistake". That gives us the courage to make it. Is this what is called a safety net? It is what every parent must provide.
Thank you, Charulatha. Yes, permission can be a safety net as well as an encouragement to explore and take our chances. Unfortunately, most of us made our choices out of fear of failure.
Thank you, Roshni. I'm glad you enjoyed it :))
Fantastic post, Karthik. This opened my eyes to the thought that permission or the lack of it is what confines us to our small individual world. Perhaps, the reason we seek permission is because we care about our loved ones, how our lives would affect theirs if we move away from a pre-planned trajectory.
Thanks so much, Sanuj!
Parents, teachers and peers hold a lot of power over a young person's life. Children build their identities based on what they are told about themselves - 'sharp, dull, silent, mischievous'. In Child Psychology, it's called Labeling. Since the children are yet to form an identity, they are under everyone else's influence and end up making these labels their own. It is said to turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I am sure there is love as well, along with the fear of disappointing your parents. Since children's brains are not fully formed, they are unable to think for themselves.
I believe it's the parents who should understand this and empower the children to becoming independent thinkers.
You're absolutely right. Well put.