Acts of Service

What's so difficult about it?

From the TV show ‘The Bear’, below is an exchange between Garrett, one of the service staff at a Michelin star restaurant, and Richie, a 40-ish year old staging (like an unpaid internship) at that restaurant.

Richie: And you’re like a chef?

Garrett: What?

Richie: You like to cook?

Garrett: No no, I don’t like to cook.

Richie: Then why you work at a restaurant?

Garrett: I don’t know man, because…

*composes himself*

A couple of years ago, I had a drinking problem.

And I got sober.

I’m good now, you know, like I feel healthy, and I’m happy and I’m grateful.

And through that experience I learned about acts of service and…

I just like being able to serve other people now.

You know?

Richie: Service.

Garrett: Yeah.

You know I used to work for this guy who used to say that taking care of people at the highest level was like working at a hospital.

Richie: Okay. That’s a little much.

Garrett: I’m just saying, I think that’s why both restaurants and hospitals use the same word - hospitality.

Richie: Yeah, no shit.

Hospitality.

(From the episode ‘Forks’ S2 E7 of The Bear)¹

As much as I loved Garrett’s intense feelings for his vocation, I felt that comparing serving at a restaurant to working at a hospital was a bit of a stretch.

I later found out that hospitality does indeed share its roots with other related words like hospital, hotel, hostel and hospice. They are all places for those in need of - a place to eat, a place to rest, a place to dwell, a place to recuperate, and a place for the aged and the sick to retire.²

Hospitality is a service provided for those in need.

**

‘You better do well at school, or you will become like them’ – our elders warned us.

Them is our staff who were taking care of us children, taking care of our house, taking care of our cattle and taking care of our farm.

I have noticed how this attitude extended to the service staff at hotels, restaurants and malls. Care work is looked down upon because it is believed that there is little or no skill required for it.

In ads for customer service jobs, the usual requirement is for the candidate to be ‘service-oriented’. This is not a skill like organizing, managing or communicating. It is not something that one can get trained at. Being service-oriented could be called a mindset or an attitude.

So what does it take to build such a mindset?

Customer service is not like a doctor or a lawyer who give appointments to their clients. It is also different from a factory worker who gets used to the rhythm of the machines they work with. Customer service is centered around the customer.

Once the restaurant staff is on the floor, they are at the beck and call of the customers. It does not matter if the restaurant is packed or if only a single table is occupied. The service staff must remain alert expecting to be called upon at any moment. Every customer is unique and so are their requests. And the service staff is expected to take care of it all.

The service staff has to completely withdraw from their selfhood to be fully at the customer’s service.

I have experienced that the most difficult part of care-giving to a sick family member has been the gradual erosion of myself. My work, my interests, my needs – everything takes a backseat. While I can rationalize the immediacy of the situation, it gets frustrating at times. I now realize that it takes a lot out of a person to be completely at someone else’s service.

Parents would have experienced this too. Especially, the mothers. They are required to unconditionally give in and gracefully accept the thanklessness of it all.

Here is a remarkable quote on parenting by renowned film music composer Hans Zimmer.³

‘Once your children are born, you can never look at yourself through your eyes anymore,

you always look at yourself through their eyes.’

So, all a parent does is make memories for their children.

**

Long after the holiday, when we may not even remember the name of the resort we stayed at, we are still left with a memory of what it felt like.

That’s because there was whole team of hotel staff that was ensuring we have pleasant experiences throughout our stay.

Thank you for the memories!

1. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Bear_(TV_series)

2. https://www.etymonline.com/search?q=hospitality

3. https://www.theguardian.com/film/2014/nov/04/-sp-christopher-nolan-interstellar-rebooted-blockbuster