Reading: Laapataa Ladies

When does our life begin?

'If you wanted to pursue Business Management, why did you get a bachelor’s degree in Engineering?'

I was told this was a common interview question that I had to be prepared for. 

'I learnt valuable analytical skills that will be useful for problem-solving in managerial situations'

None of the premier B-schools bought this.

After living through four years at the Engineering college feeling like an absolute loser, I lacked the confidence needed to convince the panel at interviews. 

It was in 10th grade when my parents had asked me what stream I wished to pursue after school. I hadn't thought of anything yet.

'What do you like at school?'

'English!'

‘But if you take up the Science stream for 11th and 12th, you can switch to any other stream for college. All options will be open for you.’

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Even when parents declare that we are free to pursue our interests, we are constrained by our understanding of the world. It is our parents who placed the building blocks of this knowledge by making those important decisions which shape our worlds - the neighbourhood we grow up in, the school we go to, the friends we play with and the hobbies we are encouraged to pursue. 

As adolescents, we are more likely to get influenced by our peer group. But then, our peers also belong to this world created for us by our parents. 

Every character is pitching us something in this Truman Show.

To know about how those few people got to make off-beat career choices, I spoke to a writer, a designer and a naturalist.

The writer's father was a voracious reader and discussing books was a norm at their dining table; The designer grew up in the influence of older family members who went to Art School; The naturalist's parents were academics and she was surrounded by Science books while growing up.

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Prolific content creator Nishant Jain a.k.a The Sneaky Artist (who has been a blogger and a comic creator, and now a writer, urban sketcher and podcaster) was interviewed by Amit Varma on The Seen and The Unseen podcast.¹

Nishant spoke about the concept of permission.

'All of us need permission from various sources in our lives to do anything. And we seek it from peers, we seek it from people who inspire us. 

Let me do something, tell me I can do something, show me that I can also do something.' 

Nishant later on shared how he owes it to his parents for giving him the permission to become an independent thinker, his wife for giving him the permission to exit his PhD program and pursue writing, and the community of urban sketchers for giving him the permission to call himself an artist. 

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In the film Laapataa Ladies, Jaya does not have the permission to pursue her studies. Instead, she gets coerced by her mother into getting married because they have already sold some land to pay the groom a hefty dowry.

After the wedding, while on the train journey towards her new husband's home, she is woken up in the dead of the night and she sleepily follows the wrong husband. 

She is already on the railway platform when she realizes her mistake and freezes for a moment as the train chugs away behind her. 

Jaya does not know this man, she does not know where they are going or what dangers might lie ahead for her.

But she gives herself the permission to take this chance. To move away from the certainty of an exploitative marriage. Even if it is towards an unknown destination. 

That is when our life begins.  

When we give ourselves the permission to make a mistake. 

1. During the episode, Nishant shares valuable perspectives on art (and Art), his rich experience on becoming a creative entrepreneur, self publishing his book and a great little insight on the freedom that our constraints offer us. Do listen!