Back in the farm, our days started early.
Work began at 8 in the morning and ended by 5 in the evening.
On returning home, my mother would hand me a cup of hot coffee and a light snack.
I would take my coffee and sit on the staircase facing the road outside.
My parents’ home is on the national highway and vehicles big and small are always zooming this way and that.
While catching my breath after the rush of the day, my thoughts would invariably turn towards where my life was headed.
I had grown up at my aunt’s home in Bangalore since the age of three. During school and college, I would spend my vacation months here in the village. As I entered professional life and moved cities, my visits became fewer and shorter.
I trained and worked for over ten years to become a media professional in Bombay.
And now, I had left the only trade I knew to return here, to my ancestral village and start to learn plantation farming.
A few months after moving back, I realized that this was not the village of my childhood anymore and that my parents were not the middle-aged people I thought I knew.
Farming is a demanding vocation. I am not sure if there is any other trade which is as replete with uncertainties as farming. The farmer has no say over the chief variables that determine the farm’s output - be it the rainfall, the availability of labour, or the market prices.
I was not prepared for these uncertainties that were confounding me.
How did I get here? Where am I headed?
***
On these evenings, our dog Cookie would join me on the staircase.
At first, she sat next to me. And as I learnt to pet her, she moved closer and put her head on my lap.
I tried taking her for walks, playing fetch and so on. But all she wanted was to cuddle.
Maybe she knew that was all I wanted.
***
777 Charlie (Kannada, 2022) is a rare dog film from India.
It’s about a little pup entering a broken man’s life and turning it upside down before changing him for the better. In the latter half of the film, both of them go on a long road trip where they gradually lose all their money and are left without a roof over their heads. Out on the street, both man and dog are equal beings. Whatever food they manage to get, is shared between them. And they sleep on the same pavement.
Stripped of everything else, we were just two beings holding on to each other.
***
A pet animal’s passing is difficult at many levels.
Since the animal does not have the language to tell us exactly what they are going through, we do some guess work and take chances while treating them. And then we are left behind wondering if we could have done something more, or even if the doctor’s diagnosis was accurate. I realize that all we can do is find a trustworthy doctor and keep the faith.
There was a huge controversy when martial arts legend Bruce Lee suddenly died when he was only 32 years old. Towards the end of the biopic, Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story (1993), his wife Linda Lee Cadwell shares with the world how she herself was coping with this tragedy:
'People want to know the way he died, I want to remember the way he lived.'
***
In response to the prompt '5 things you learnt from someone you love', I wrote on what Cookie’s cookieness had taught me about how to love -
She was always the first to greet me when I got home. She would come charging at me, ears flapping, tongue sticking out in a grin and lift her sausage body up and down.
Lesson one: Even if you are unbathed for weeks, jump up and show your delight
When it was time for her treats, she would not bother impressing me with any of her tricks. She would simply run round and round without even allowing me to walk and arc her neck up and open her mouth and make eyes with me.
Lesson two: Don't hold back, just ask
She would find a spot to curl up next to me or between my legs if I am sitting on the stairs. Even after getting shooed away sometimes, she always came back to sit with me.
Lesson three: Always come back and sit together
People would watch her follow me wherever I went like I was Pied Piper and she was under my spell. They would say, 'Awww look at them!' or dismiss us as ‘She is after the treats’.
Lesson four: Be prepared to be envied by the others
Some quiet evenings, she would suddenly get up and chase a bird, dig up a hole in the mud, bring me a stick just like that, pretend to scare away visitors, or run out into the hailstorm and run back inside - making me laugh heartily.
Lesson five: Never hesitate to make a fool of yourself
When they reach out to you, do make space. It can change your life.
This post has my heart❤️ Dearest Cookie 🥹 Writing this is the most beautiful way to remember her :)
Cookie lives forever 💜🌻
Thank you for sharing cookieness with us.