Dear Reader,
Back when I was in boarding school, my heart would skip a beat every time I was told there was a letter for me. It would usually be from my parents. I would tuck it into my pocket or between the pages of a book and find some alone time, usually after lunch and read the letter while lying on my bed. My mother would say how they celebrated a festival at home and missed me. My father would write about the importance of developing daily habits and show me the big picture. He would always end with some words of wisdom - where there's a will, there's a way.
I would keep aside my grandfather's letters because his handwriting was not easy for me to read. When my parents would visit me at the school, my father would read it out to me. Once when I was home for vacation, I blurted out to my grandfather that I could not read his Kannada writing. He mistakenly thought that I was saying that I could not read it because it was in Kannada. So in my next term, I got a letter from him that was written with as much English as he could muster. My grandfather had not studied beyond primary school, and had taught himself some English while growing up in British India. He was quite a mercurial person and we did not share many tender moments together but he has left me with this one memory that makes me go weak even now.
During vacations, us friends would write to each other about how our holidays were going. My best friend in high school wrote to me saying, 'I like this girl at my tuition class. But her dad is the teacher.'
I have started feeling that my newsletters are more like my father's letters and less like my friends' letters. I realise that I have trained myself to make connections from everyday happenings - my way of reading the world. But I am now telling myself that I don't need to do this all the time. Sometimes, I could also write about how early one morning I saw those two kids on a little bicycle repeatedly going up and down the street while shrieking in joy. It made me stop my morning walk, take off the earplugs and just stay there a while.
It has been one year since I began posting my writings here. Before this, I had only shared my writings with some close friends over text or email. They all told me I had a way with words. They all asked me to write more. And they all wished to see me doing this full time.
Let me introduce you to my other writer friend
I see you talking to hundreds of people in an auditorium - that's my vision for you
You can stay at the farm anytime and do your writing
It has been about ten years since I started talking about writing and here we are!
I am immensely grateful for my friends whose encouragement made me believe and got me on this journey. Thank you guys - you know who you are.
Last July, when I started publishing here, I was on a spree posting one essay every weekend. And then, I hit a slump. I began to feel my writings needed more work without realizing this is the work. After a while, a friend texted me - 'Karthik! Why haven't you been posting? I look forward to your newsletter on Sunday mornings.' Back when I was a regular reader of the Sunday Times and I would start my day reading Jug Suraiya, Bachi Karkaria, Swaminathan Aiyer and the other great writers featured in those pages. I feel so lucky and also pleased with myself that I am part of your Sunday habits.
When I started out, posting an essay was already quite stressful. And by the time the comments would start coming in, I would already be exhausted. But then, I could not look away either. There was some odd discomfort with receiving compliments that I could not fully understand. I have now grown to enjoy the compliments and take the discussion forward in the comments section. It is helping me reflect on my thinking and I am understanding my own essay better because of these responses. Thank you for taking the time to write your wholesome responses. It is making me a better writer and making this app a better place. You guys are the best!
And there are those who have pledged a sum of their money to support my publication. Your pledges have made me value my work and believe in my journey. I will always be grateful for taking me further towards a writerly life.
Life is amazing!
Love,
Karthik
This was beautiful, Karthik. The letters, the kids playing, and the experience of becoming a writer. Happy Anniversary!
Congratulations on the first (of many) anniversaries, Karthik! A lot of what you've written felt very familiar. I suppose it's the experience of most of us amateurs writing and powering each other here. :)