Between Things

'We'll find a way, we always have'

Many years back, when a friend of mine quit his job and was desperately looking for new work, he used this image as his DP.

'This is what it feels like every morning, knowing that all of you have gone to work and only I am left behind', he had confided.

**

During 2016-17, my friend Vicky (name changed) and I were both in between things. Since we were living in the same neighbourhood and had time for ourselves, we started catching up for  drinks on some afternoons.

It was perfect for our situation because no one else would be in our homes during that time and our little meetup would fill an otherwise empty day.

I had noticed that Vicky always came dressed in formal wear. I presumed that he might have been attending job interviews or meeting some of his industry contacts. Since he never talked about it, I didn't ask him either.

Until one day, I blurted out, 'So, how was your meeting?'

'There was no meeting!'

'Are you going for one later?'

'No no, going back home. I might take a nap or something'.

'So what are you dressed up for?'

He first let out a sheepish smile.

And then shared this story –

Our schedule at home has always been like this – Every morning at 8, I drop off my son to the school bus. And then my wife and I leave for work one by one. And when my son returns home in the afternoon, he goes straight to my wife's parents' home in the adjacent building. They take care of him till either of us return from work.

Even while I have not been going to office, we continued with this arrangement.

One evening, I was casually stepping out of the building to buy something and I bumped into my son who was out playing with his friends.

I was startled to see him and he caught on to it.

‘Papa, what are you doing here?' he asked.

'I came home early from office today because I had a meeting nearby’, I explained.

'But why are you in your home clothes?’, he asked, referring to my t-shirt and shorts.

'Errr... I had to go to the bathroom'.

'Since then', Vicky shrugged, 'I get dressed every morning as if I am going out to work. My son is only in second grade. And all he understands right now is that, like he has to go to school everyday, his parents also have to go to work’.

'We think he is too young to understand this disruption to my work life. We don't want him to feel insecure about it'.

Vicky was my roommate from boarding school and it had always baffled me how much he used to love trouble. Even when he didn't get into trouble himself, he wouldn’t think twice to jump into anyone else's troubles.

Oh you want to hide your magazines? Let me take care of that

You want to sneak out of campus? I could go with you too

Now this episode has added another layer to his character - that of a thoughtful parent who was putting up an incredible act to protect his son’s childhood.

Back then, I would often worry if we were turning into those people - jobless men who drink during daytime.

But we both found our way out of those situations and moved towards better things. We are now so engrossed in our work and lives that in the whole of last year, Vicky and I could meet only two times - and that too, when we had our school friends visiting from abroad.

Looking back, I am glad we had our downtime and that we found good company to do nothing together.

It was not nothing.

We now have a story or two.

**

Our Science teacher (Curriculum and Pedagogy) at the university was by far the most sprightly person on campus. When I took her course, I understood that her enthusiasm for life was rooted not as much in positive psychology or spirituality, as much as it was rooted in Science.

The kind of positivity I had seen in the movie Interstellar, whose central theme revolved around the human instinct for survival.

‘We'll find a way, we always have’

When COVID struck and we were all collectively between things, I attended a webinar where our teacher was the main speaker. This was July 2020 and we were already sick and tired of the lockdown hindering our lives. But I could sense no let down in her energy even through the computer screen.

I am paraphrasing a part of her talk - ‘There will be something good that will come out of this. We will adapt and find ways. Like this webinar! Look at all of us, sitting in the comfort of our rooms and still being able to connect with so many here and share knowledge. Who would have thought this could be possible!’

In the 2000s, when my cousins living abroad introduced me to Skype, I naturally shied away from getting on video calls.

It was only after COVID, when it became the only way to meet and talk that I started warming up to the medium.

Last year, I attended two writing workshops* which were both held on Zoom. In the pre-COVID era, there was little chance of me opting to turn on my camera and talk to a screen.

If not for the darned pandemic, you would not be reading this now.

---

*The Art of Clear Writing and The Ochre Sky Memoir Writing Workshop.